Lyrics

Lies

V1

I’m self sufficient, I’m so secure

I got everything I need, no need for any of yours

I won’t call any favours,  yeah i’m fine on my own

You say this kind of behaviour, is why I feel so alone

Ch

All the lies I tell myself help put me to sleep

All the times I should of stopped to listen and not speak

Could of spared me from my 'self' and saved a lot of grief 

And in turn allow myself to finally just be

V2

Everything's working, everything’s sure

I got no doubt that i’ll make it, so just give me the floor

I don’t need your approval, a trophy on your shelf

I don’t need to be famous, doing this for my health

Br

Find refrain, say it’s name 

Hold this space, make room for the truth and all it's pain

Ch

All the lies I tell myself help put me to sleep

All the times I should of stopped to listen and not speak

All the lies we tell ourselves won't help us to sleep

All the times we should of stopped to listen and not speak

Could of spared us from our 'self' and saved a lot of grief 

And in turn allow ourselves to finally just be, just be

Keep Trying

V1

Flipping through the messages, dissecting every word

Wanting to be gentle yet heard

Did I say it well enough, did I get it right this time?

Maybe we’d be better off if you could simply try and read my mind

Read my mind

Ch

All our fears that we’ve felt we’ve dealt with oh so well our whole lives

Now rush back into the light

Say what they will, every fear that seeks to steal, destroy and kill

Oh love has it’s reply… 

"Just keep trying"

V2

Tomorrow steals my confidence, it’s worries manifold

But today is but a vapour, so we’re told 

Projecting past the present tense, a place we’re less alone

Baby we’ll better off embracing everything in the unknown

Ch 2

All our years shaping every moment, every thought in our minds

Now try to harmonise  

Bend as they will, every note and word, where melody stands still 

Hear love and its reprise…

“Just keep trying"

Here We Go Again

V1

Here we go again, another poor connection

I want to see you but not through this frame, I want to see all your pain

I want to see all of you

V2

Here we go again, another awkward silence

I hope that it's filled with some truth

Not my need to pretend or my need to defend

Cause all I want is you

Ch

If this is falling in love, give me every second of all this, all of you

I think (I've surely) i've fallen in love, you're all that I can think of

My heart belongs to you

Bricks

V1

I’ve got the money, clutching it so tight

hoping to keep some in the afterlife

I’ll pre-order a fancier coffin

So maybe i’ll feel less empty less often

I’ve become my very own pharaoh

storing up treasure while avoiding the narrow

So build me a house, make it a tower

The fruit of your labor, is the source of my power

Ch

All these bricks, built on sand built with blood

They cannot fix all the shit that we’ve dug up

All these bricks, have we asked where they come from?

From little kids, digging cobalt from the mud

these little kids, empty lives fill our cup

these little kids, let their eyes interrupt 

V2

So we just keep moving, no time for questions

who could bothered with your introspection? 

do what we have to, to live a bit longer

I’m pointing the finger, cause it makes me feel stronger

Our ‘great’ empire, rests on the weary

so we avoid all that makes us feel dreary?

So I’ll turn away, I’ll keep on pretending

pretend that my comfort is the thing worth defending

Br

All this time, we’ve just dug in, calling it freedom never calling it sin

I wanna build a better me, a better world free from slavery

But it’s not just ‘them’ that are in need, I need someone to deliver ME

From my sin, from my greed, from the idolatry that is ‘ME'

Neighbour

V1

They built some prisons in redfern

Drive by them everyday

They call it social housing, looks exactly like Long Bay

You've seen the towers on Morehead

Or do you look away?

"They should clean up this area" is such an easy thing to say

I wasn't built for this burden

Not used to suffering

If my neighbors hungry whats that got to do with me?

Does that make me complicit?

What does that even mean?

Surely I'm a good person, I just can't fix everything

C

When all is said and every song is sung

With who will I be counted as among?

What power(s) and what Kingdom(s) of to speak?

What strength there is among who we've called 'weak'

V2

I want a trendy apartment

Near all my favorite cafes

Yah I want that status, ready and willing to pay*

You call it gentrification

What does that even mean?

I worked so hard to get here, don’t go fucking with my dreams

Who really sees the price tag?

Who doesn't look away?

Who's gonna stare down the barrel of all of our wicked ways?

I ain't got time for questions

To take a look in the mirror

I don't think I could cope with seeing things so crystal clear

Outro/resolve

This is an ode to suffering and all it has to teach me

what riches could I seek? a part from those beside me

a lie that runs so deep,  scarcity economy

theres enough for you and me, the land provides abundantly

creations turn to speak, the quelling of idolatry

this is an ode to suffering, and all it has to teach me

Bloom

V1

We all have our seasons to feel alive

We’ll be searching for healing till the day we die

Life can feel like treason, betrayal and lies

Still hope keeps on teasing us all the time

Pre Ch

I’m so tired all the time

From trying to escape the dark night and how it’s coming

I can do this one more time

If you remind me of the springtime and how it’s coming

Ch

I’ll rise up to my feet again

Though bruised this heart will start to mend

The leaves will fall unto the ground again

And there remain until the winter’s end

You can’t rush the bloom

Pre Ch 2

I’ve been lied to all my life

From friend and enemy alike, but the one that’s stinging

Is the lie within my mind

That tells me I will not survice another season

Outro/Resolve

You can’t rush the bloom

You can’t rush the bloom

Don’t you rush the bloom

Shaken

V1

Can I find some relief? Been looking for that peace

Is it found in the soil, or the tops of the trees?

I reach out to friends and family

They don’t bring no joy they just pile on the grief

Pre Ch1

Now this ache has found it’s way through every bone

And my mind is racked with doubts i’ve never known

Ch

It’s like i’m being shaken, pruned on every vine

Forsaken, hollowed out inside

Mistaken, believing every le

A slave in a house that I despise

V2

I got nowhere to run just new places to hide

No destination for the questions on my mind

I reach out to hope, reach out to belief

Will they answer the call or will I get the machine?

Pre Ch2

Now the places that i’ve found in you before

Feel so vacant and so empty and so poor

Will my weariness persist forevermore?

Are there answers locked behind any door?

Bridge

Dream of a better home

Live through the bitter cold

Rest in the great unknown

Just be, you are more than you know

Away in a manger of grief

This Christmas was one in which I found myself limping into. Often when I’ve struggled to engage with Christmas it’s been due to ghosts of Christmas past. Things that shaped me as a child and my family over this holiday season. For many years, hard memories marred and crippled my joy. A bunch of years back I decided to do the hard work of uncovering some of those wounds and disappointments and begin to reclaim this time of year as one of thanksgiving and celebration.

However, this year there have been very current and present circumstances that have left me feeling sad and deeply grieved. I’m exhausted and unsure of where to place some of the pain. Sure, I know all the theory of casting my burdens unto Jesus. But it’s a bit awkward to emburden someone you love so deeply, on their birthday, isn’t it?

I still feel the reserve, the question and the doubt that my grief is unwelcomed. That my dramas spoil the party. Maybe it’s best to just tuck them all away out of view? Maybe that’s the type of present I’ll give to Jesus that he’ll like best?

Carefree, whole, joyous Stevie.

But then I remember the drama of this great Christmas narrative. The sheer scandal of it all. The shocking reality that Jesus willingly chose to enter into the mess, that is humanity.

Our pain wasn’t a barrier to his arrival, it was his great invitation. Humanity did not prepare him room. Humanity did not set out the banquet table nor deck the halls. No, humanity sat in sin and error pining.

Jesus saw this and it hastened his stride. Through utter vulnerability he enters this world into a manger via an unplanned pregnancy. This baby arrives with no fanfare or triumph. The one who spoke every fiber of reality into existence takes the road not just less traveled, but rather the road never traveled.

He doesn’t see my pain or strife as a barrier. He doesn’t see it as a inconvenience or a hurdle. He sees that my life and our lives, are all really just dirty stables. He sees our hearts as an unlikely manger to potentially be brought into. He sees the lack of our current circumstances, and with all his abundance reveals what Emmanuel really means .

God, fully with us.

It’s a crying shame!

“They are going to make it illegal to have a bible in the state of California!”

It’s a crying shame!

This is the most frequent response to the further unfolding situation the church in the west is finding itself in. The rhetoric is that the truth is under attack, and it’s up to us to take a stand and do something about it!

Increasingly more, the conversation in evangelical circles is one entrenched in paranoia and fear. The overwhelming narrative is that the left is advancing and taking sacred ground, ground that has been fought for and paid for with blood (soldiers blood, not messiahs*). The rhetoric has ramped up into a militant stance**of standing up for what’s right, at all costs, for the…

gospel?

One of the most frequent comments I hear when it comes to things like the above headline*** is that this is proof that the enemy has deceived us. He has now completely infiltrated liberal media, Hollywood, and the democratic party. These institutions are the pawns he’s using to destroy society and the world as we know it. Because, if THEY take away the bible… then WE, lose.

WE HAVE BEEN DECEIVED!

Wouldn’t the more cunning deception be, that the enemy convinces US (his bride) that civil (earthly) liberties are worth going down swinging for? What if the ultimate deception is that we have been hoodwinked into believing that our greatest strength could ever, even remotely, be given from the State? There truly is a deception underway, but maybe we have blinded ourselves to who is actually having the rug pulled out from beneath them.

The bible is EXPLICITLY clear on this topic.

JESUS is SHOCKINGLY clear on this matter.

He doesn’t say:

“When you are persecuted/marginalized/oppressed, take up arms and fight HARDER.”

He says BLESSED are those who are persecuted!

It’s so simple, yet so incredibly overlooked. The sermon on the mount is surely the best sermon ever preached, while simultaneously, surely being the least applied.

He doesn’t commission us to rally/petition/vote our way into a more “christian” society, one where we are never threatened or challenged. In fact, the great commission assumes the exact opposite. He says to GO INTO ALL THE WORLD. He challenges his disciples to leave the comfort and safety of what they have enjoyed while being with him, promising them the comfort they need will never be found anywhere else apart from his spirit.

Going into the world requires a confidence that our comfort will never be fully found here, in this world. This ensures us that when the world chews us up and spits us out, we don’t get tempted into being shocked and surprised. There is nowhere to be found in all of the scripture a mandate to perpetuate our faith in the ways that are currently being fought for. Jesus promises us that we will be pushed to the margins if we truly follow him. Yet, we are allured and easily impressed with the more temporary promise of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

The christianity of 21st century, western, evangelicalism is fatally ill. We have backed ourselves into a corner and are stuck in a vicious cycle of pointing the finger. We are perpetually caught blaming external entities for our lack of POWER, while we flail about and cling to what we feel we deserve. If we look for security in earthly institutions, we will get as much security as any earthly structure could possibly ever give us.

BANKRUPT PROMISES.

I am positioning myself in belief that loving my enemies, caring for the sick, serving the poor and welcoming the refugee is the most potent form of Christianity that this world needs. I can’t do this clinging to anything other than Jesus’ words in Matthew 5-7. If I go down swinging, let it be for fighting for others with less than me and constantly uprooting the adultery, murder, and hate in my own heart. What a privilege it would be to be persecuted for living out the sermon on the mount!

Maybe, the world needs to see the Church actually LIVE out the bible vs. fight for the right to OWN a bible. Maybe, the Church needs to be stripped of every earthly dependence, so that we may fully inherit every heavenly one.

It’s time for the fatally ill patient to be taken off life support. May nationalism and it’s shallow promises be left behind in the grave. I am believing that in the wake of that death, we will see a great resurrection of life in the people of the Jesus way. I am believing that my life surrendered to living out the beatitudes, the sermon on the mount and every other introspectively challenging scripture is something that NO man, system or structure could ever take away. The Bible, and history is full of people who believed this to be true.

Take the world, but give me Jesus.

Let this not be token or trite. Let it ring true in our actions and in our words. When the pressure is on, let that beautiful statement bankrupt every institution and source that boasts to be as strong as the suffering servant. Let us suffer with him, so that we may reap with him.

endnotes:

*Jesus shed blood, for ALL of the world. This doesn’t mean it doesn’t apply to Americans, but it certainly means that it doesn’t have special application to Americans. The tension here is: what bloodshed has MORE weight and value?

** It’s more than ironic that the biggest proponents for guns IN schools, are often the same one’s that are furious that prayer has been taken OUT. This is simple fight fire with fire mentality. You take away our right to prayer, we fight it with our right to bear arms. The real tension here is not the ACION of prayer, but the content and objective of prayer. Why not start with the Lords prayer? Which includes: Forgive OUR trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Not: Forgive us, as we SHOOT those back who shoot at us.

*** Upon, not even careful or thorough research, turns out this is not even remotely true. The current legislation under debate mentions nothing that could eve be remotely misconstrued to reach such a conclusion.

Soft Launch at The Erskinevilla

Here is the photo reel of the night we just had at the new creative space/music venue I am developing in the inner west of Sydney. It was a fantastic evening with great live music, amazing food and delicious desserts and coffees. Stay tuned and watch this space for many, many more nights and events in the near future!

Photos by Joshua Mikhaiel.

Iraq Photo Blog

As you scroll through these photos, I urge you to fully engage your heart in the stories of these beautiful people. Let that impact your view on the Middle East and let it compel you to action. Give to Partners Relief and Development now, and as often as you are capable of. 

https://birthday.gofundraise.com.au/page/StevieLujan

About 5 miles out of Mosul. These roads were were littered with road mines and IED's.

The closer we got to Mosul, the more frequent this site became. These people are living a truly nomadic existence. 

On our first day we brought 5 trucks full of emergency relief to Western Mosul. 

This was the last military checkpoint before entering Mosul from the east. This is the moment I realized I was in way over my head. 

Checkpoint locals. 

Checkpoint landmarks. 

Checkpoint bro's. From day one I immediately attempted to pull out my guitar and sing songs of hope and life every chance I could get. 

Checkpoint cutie. 

Checkpoint cutie 2. 

About a mile from where we initially set up our first feeding location was this HUGE unfinished dam from Saddam era. 

The trained dudes in Free Burma Rangers + Iraqi military inspected the whole area under the Dam and found a massive secret underground IED factory. 

The Free Burma Ranger dudes. I wish I could tell you endless stories of each one of their incredible journeys. TRUE HEROS. 

We were staying directly on the Tigris. 

And she didn't disappoint. 

This is where we bunkered down for the first 5 days. Freshly cleared of ISIS fighters with glass, shrapnel and blood all over the walls and furniture. 

It was a perfect place to distribute food to the eventual 10,000 + people who heard we had food, water, diapers and baby formula. 

His family and their starvation matters. 

He deserves to make it through this hell on earth. 

So does he...

So does she...

We spent the second half of our trip a few hours north in Dahok area. We visited many established IDP camps. 

Sawita camp completely unraveled me. 

The thumb monster was wielded and it started hours upon hours of laughs and joy. 

These children are priceless. 

She deserves a better future than the world she's been brought into. 

The stories the adults told us were incomprehensible. I'll never forget them, EVER. 

I have possibly never felt more alive than my time singing, laughing and playing with these little miracles. 

We even crashed a Yazidi wedding. I have never seen a more wild dance party. Of course I had to jump in. 

St. Matthews monastery. Sheer beauty. 

St. Matthews interior. 

All photos copyright of Partners Relief & Development: www.partners.ngo   Used with permission and not to be used for any other purpose.